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astrology

What is your zodiac sign? Does it fit your personality?

My zodiac sign is Aries. Me and 1/12 of the general population. We’re all the same. Totally.

Astrology is bullshit.

I know this for a fact because my star chart is a goddamn mess. Most have a fairly even distribution of lines. Mine are all clumped in one area, which goes to prove that astrology is either northern-hemisphere-restricted, or bullshit. I call bullshit.

PLUS, there’s the fact that the stars have changed alignment since the system was first developed, which is supposed to make me a Pisces. Signs don’t get much more polar oppositely than Aries and Pisces.

Aries

  • Energetic
  • Passionate
  • “Fiery”
  • Go-getter, doesn’t like lying around
  • Stubborn
  • Independent
  • Seeks power
  • Impulsive
  • Exciting

Excuse me while I laugh my ass off. Some of that is me, but all this energetic shit? TOTAL CRAP. Buuuuuuuull shiiiiiiiiiiit. I’m independent and stubborn and that’s about where it ends.

Pisces

  • Mature
  • Sophisticated (*urp*)
  • Knows where she’s going
  • Good listener
  • Empathetic
  • Adaptable
  • Confident in own abilities
  • Distractable

…you know, I haven’t looked up “pisces woman” in a long, long time. What I remember involves a lot of water and calm. This… is more like me.

But, whatever calm and confidence (and omg, the capacity for distraction) I have is tempered by the Aries’ fiery temperament.

No one description fits all people.

Theoretically, if I were to combine all my astrological signs (Year of the Tiger, moon sign, whatever) it would paint a picture of ME. But like I said, my star chart is fuuuuuucked uuuuuup.

So no, my sign(s) aren’t really relevant. I put more faith in something like Myers-Briggs, which at least seeks to describe you as you are, rather than predict based on a random fact.

Whatever, man. We’ve got a deep fryer to test out.

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