Powers of Detection
Edited by Dana Stabenow
Read: Sept/Oct 2008 (review finalized May 2009)
Rating: Abysmal
It was a noble goal. Dana Stabenow writes sci fi/fantasy, and when someone suggested she try her hand at a mystery competition she laughed. But she said she’d try and it turned into a story. It was too long for the competition and she refused to cut it down. Instead, she put together her own anthology, calling on writers in her genre to step outside that genre. Sci fi/fantasy writers were asked to write short stories about murder.
It was a great experiment. It FAILED.
I had such high hopes… Stabenow started with the authors she read. Anne Bishop and Sharon Shinn are in here. I figured there would be two good ones, especially as Bishop’s is about Surreal, one of my favorite characters.
We’ve gone over how much I loathe short stories, right? Well, my reasons for hating short stories don’t apply here. Because the stories were so beyond bad. I hate short stories that wrap themselves up in their own symbolism and ‘meaning’ and bullshit. These… these were like first year creative writing submissions. Maybe second.
The trouble with anthologies is that you can’t read one or two and write the whole thing off. You have to try a few pages of each to see if the individual story is worthwhile. So, here’s a blow by blow.
Cold Spell, by Donna Andrews - Oh, cool! A mage with a cold! His sneezes turn bats colors. Including stripe. I love stuff like that! Unfortunately, I think Andrews had a cold, too. It’s not very funny, and it’s not particularly creative. The dialogue is mediocre, and the climax is wholly anticlimactic. Worst of all? She’s a career mystery writer. D’oh!
The Nightside, Needless To Say by Simon R. Green – The first few paragraphs are great, sinks you right into the world. The premise is pretty damn cool, too. Man wakes up to find he’s been bludgeoned to death but he doesn’t know who killed him. …we never get around to how he woke up in the first place, or how he’s now able to walk and talk and call his partner ’round to chat about it. She also takes this completely for granted. I don’t care that she used to do voodoo, shouldn’t SOMEONE be freaked out?! Just a little?!
Lovely, by John Straley - A twisted little piece that appeals to my twisted little sense of humor. A raven finds a corpse washed up on the shore and thinks he’s found a free meal. Another human comes by and pushes the body back in the water, annoying our feathered friend. He figures, This human must be a good hunter. If I follow him, I can eat the next one! I told you I was twisted. No real complaints with this one.
The Price, by Anne Bishop – This was really damn disappointing coming straight off the high from the Tir Alainn books. This is set in the world of the Blood, during Jaenelle and Daemon’s honeymoon, the poor things. Surreal is doing her own thang and crosses paths with a witch who is killing men just because they’re men. Of course, Surreal is very… VERY well qualified for this. Unfortunately, the story is not. Random partnering with a male as sidekick. Unsatisfying gap during the searching period before Jaenelle and Daemon get involved. And, frankly, dialogue just didn’t feel right. And that price concept just felt corny here–it was VERY real in the trilogy. ANNE! What’re you trying to do to me here?!
[Ed: I am so bad at dealing with shorts that I left this post to sit as a draft for nine months. Apologies. Here's the rest. With less detail, no doubt. Then again, what I remember long after the fact may be the most telling review.]
Fairy Dust by Charlaine Harris - Another one that I wanted to be good, but wasn’t up to par. Not a bad setup, decent world, but the first person narrator tries too hard to be snarky/cool, and the ‘twisty’ ending comes off as a nuisance rather than clever. What I remember… fairies and other beings move among humans, under the radar. There’s a murder and the narrator becomes involved, though she(?) doesn’t like the family involved. It’s some tricksy think about how certain types of beings can be killed (ie werewolves with silver bullet, vamps leave behind dust piles, etc.)
The Judgement by Anne Perry - I… don’t remember this one at all, I’m afraid. Sorry. I mean, I’ve got the book in front of me and everything but I just… don’t remember anything about it. Oops?
The Sorcerer’s Assassin by Sharon Shinn - Comes off morel ike Sherwood Smith than Sharon Shinn (ouch–and I do like Smith, she’s just not as brills as Shinn is). Shinn… you disappoint. It sounds like a Potter ripoff, and it IS. Set in a magic academy, told by one of the teachers. Another teacher is murdered and the faculty must try to find out who among them is the killer. When Shinn is on form, she’s amazing. When she’s not, it’s bland. *sigh*
The Boy Who Chased Seagulls by Michael Armstrong - Something about an old man telling a boy about a kid who was eaten by seagulls…? I think this was one with a decent aha/literary bent, but I don’t remember much.
Palimpesest by Laura Anne Gilman - If I remember right (and I may not) this one had the coolest world. Detectives in a city where the otherwordly beings roam beneath the radar. There’s magic current running around… I remember it being pretty cool.
The Death of Clickclickwhistle by Mike Doogan - Muahhahahahaha this one I LIKED. Not written exceptionally well, but the story was silly. Nifty. And it was nice to have some hardcore sci fi thrown into the mix. (And how can you not like a story that starts with “Is it dead?”) On a spaceship heading for a huge meeting of diplomants from ALL OVER the universe, Gordon and his crewmates are transporting ambassadors of various species. It is their job to make sure these guys… things… its… arriving safely. Naturally, one turns up dead. It’s a bit tedious being introduced to the various species aboard, but the end is quite worth it. This one did make me giggle, which I thank Mr. Doogan for.
Cairene Dawn by Jay Casselberg - Um, I do not remember much of this at all. At all. It’s set in Egypt. That… is all.
Justice is a Two-Edged Sword by Dana Stabenow - When you edit an anthology and include your own work you have an obligation to write something fantastic. …I should stop having expectations. Stabenow’s story suffers from Weird Word Syndrome. First page… Mnemosynea, Pthalean, Pthersikorean, Kalliopean, Okeon, Palihymnean, Atonis, Tseuz, Yranea… and that’s only half a page because of the formatting. And then there’s Sharryn. I can’t follow this shit, dammit. Not in a short. Not ever. Cardinal rule of fantasy/sci fi–don’t deluge the reader with foreign words and places right up front! Yeesh.
Ms. Stabenow, I admire your attempt. It was a good idea. It really, really didn’t work. For that I am sorry. I wanted it to.
