I think we could run a restaurant–or at least write the menu for one. So that’s where the conceit of the new title comes from.

Now hosted on my own TheWordofGit.com, I’m going to try to be more faithful about writing up what I eat and how it worked out.

To recap, I myself am unable to eat gluten, soy, egg, birch fruits (apple, pear, etc), or kiwi. (Of all the random things…)

My father is gluten free.

My aunt cannot eat large amounts of wheat or dairy, and is very allergic to nightshades (tomato, peppers, etc).

Two of my best friends are vegetarian.

You can expect notations related to all of the above, and more. (Worst horror story I’ve ever heard: someone allergic to rice.)

About the only dietary concern I don’t have time for is veganism. I have an irrational resentment toward vegans, made worse by attending school with them for three and a half years. Plus, your desserts tend to suck ass. So, sorry, vegans. Here there be meat and cheese.

Having offended, lets get going!

I was reminded of how useful these can be when I stumbled upon a new Celiac in an unlikely place: The Retro Housewife. She was diagnosed only a month or three ago, is still feeling the frustrations. So I wrote to her.

You ARE lucky to have such obvious symptoms. Mine were subtle–weight gain and clinical depression. My fantastic doctor made the connection, but all my tests were negative or inconclusive until a DNA test was done. My father has it, so it was something we were aware of; his gut also makes LOUD protestations. Do be careful with you daughter, she might have ‘hidden’ symptoms. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 18, and 4 years later I still feel like I’m ‘detoxing.’

Having two Celiacs in a house of 3 people has improved our lives. We all eat better–more home cooked meals, less garbage. We regularly enjoy stews, chili (with different combos of beans and meats), lentil soup, cottage pie (beef and mashed potato), corned beef hash, and others. Remember, there are a lot of foods out there that only need small modifications! We now use corn starch in place of flour as a thickener, and it works like a charm.

Tinkyada is the best rice pasta, bar none. Better than some of the cheaper wheat pastas. Amy’s Meals are very tasty, organic, and they have a frozen pizza that works like a charm (we add more cheese).

Baking is tricky, even worse so for me because I’m also allergic to soy and egg. (Soy is a GREAT substitute, use it if you can!) For ease, we get baking mixes from the Gluten Free Pantry, Whole Foods 365, and Pamela’s (their brownies are to die for). A lot of people swear by the books by Bette Hagman, who died recently. Her GF flours are legend. I’ve found that cupcakes last quite well, and I make them ever 1-2 weeks, often experimenting with nuts, chocolate, flavors, etc.

After seeing your frustration in this thread, I wanted to pass along the tips I’ve learned since my diagnosis. I have more energy, feel lighter, and know that I never want to go back. Call it a blessing in disguise. I had my diet limited even further by actual allergies, and I just might scream if they ever find another to add to the list. But I’ve reached a point where I’m happy, well fed, and do enjoy cooking. Eating out is often dull (Burger, no bun.) but I’m used to it now. Never write off a whole dish for one sauce–ask if they can hold it. Some places will make, say, a flourless butter sauce for shrimp scampi if you ask.

And, when all seems bleak, enjoy the Celiac’s piece de resistance: Flourless chocolate cake!

And there you have it.

There isn’t one. While most people can agree on what a glaze is, frosting and icing are essentially interchangeable even within the profession. But, since this is my blog and I like to make these things official, I’m going to give general definitions for all of these.

Glaze: A very thin topper. Can be either sweet, or savory–such as egg white used on breads and rolls to add gloss and crunch. As I’m allergic to egg that probably won’t come up much. However, sweet glazes almost certainly well. They’re typically somewhat syrupy in consistency. Consider the white, sugary glaze on some donuts and twisty pastries.
Icing: Midway between the two, not as thick as frosting. Will thicken and became somewhat hard. Like the chocolate used on donuts.

Frosting: Thick and creamy. The classic frosting. Remains fluffy. Prevalent on cakes and cupcakes.

There are, of course, umpteen more uses for, and styles of, frostings. These are just to give you a general idea of what sort of confection we’re dealing with here. They will be used in the title, if nowhere else.

Sprinkles ain't just sugar. They also include corn starch, wheat starch, and various colorings. Thankfully, not all sprinkles are created equal, so here's a run down on the fascinating world of Those Things You Put On Desserts That Your Mother Hates.

So you know, Wikipedia was my initial guide. Open the cut, folks!

According to Wiki, we ignorant consumers commonly say sprinkles (or jimmies, hundreds & thousands, quins, mice…), but manufacturers have standard names for all the different kinds. Follow the sugar spill…

	Long Sprinkles aka JimmiesThese are cylindrical and typically come in two varieties: chocolate and rainbow. They almost always have wheat starch. People allergic to corn should also be on the lookout for syrups and starches. They are relatively soft compared to other sprinkles and I find that they stick to the roof of my mouth. …or they did when I could still eat them. The name 'jimmies' comes from Just Born, the same company that makes Peeps (which are gluten free!). The man running the machine was named Jimmy, hence his particular product came to be called jimmies. Aah, to be forever remembered as a candy… Just Born no longer makes jimmies, but has expanded its line of Peeps so you can get 'em year round. Beware partially hydrogenated everything.
	NonpareilsThose hard, tiny little balls. These seem to be fine as far as wheat goes. Always check the ingredients; it's likely that they vary by brand. Not to be confused with the chocolate disks or kisses covered in these sprinkles, which are also known as nonpareils. (Mmmm… some of my faves.)
	Sugars Also called sanding sugar and crystal sugar, depending on how course or fine. Once upon a time they probably were just colored sugar (Hey, make your own!), but now they're full of crap just like everything else. However, at least one brand is listed on AllergyGrocer.com as free of nearly everything: India Tree. If you want to add color, sugars are the safest place to start.
	DrageesThose little metallic balls that never quite look truly edible… But they are tasty. They're made with almonds! Unfortunately, they're also made with wheat. They're Italian, and the name also refers to whole nuts coated with pastels, metallics, and now pearly coverings. (Click the smaller image on the left for some examples.) These are popular at easter, but you'll need to check the ingredients. I have yet o find gluten-free dragees, but if someone does I'd love to hear about it.
	Flat ShapesThese come in just about any size or shape your little heart desires. They're hard and kind of chalky. I'm having trouble finding ingredients, but at least one brand (they list theirs as "quins" uses rice starch… but also contains soy.)

Brands to watch:

Cake Mate/Betty Crocker — suggests you call them on their 800 line. http://www.signaturebrands.com/faq.asp

India Tree — Known allergen-free

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Sprinkles stand explained! If anyone has more information, I'll be more than happy to list it. I'm going to have a look next time I go shopping and will hopefully put in some more brand info. Remember to check the labels!

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